Am I really doing good for everyone, or am I already assisting in evil without realizing it?
In 2023, I graduated with a master’s degree and joined a state-owned enterprise in my hometown’s provincial company, working in a management department that didn’t have to bear the burden of operational performance indicators. This was a job that was considered “stable, decent, and not tiring” in people’s eyes, a guaranteed job. But I soon realized that this was not an ideal job that promised everything. Two years later, in 2025, I resigned.
The story of my first job in a state-owned enterprise was published on August 25th in “The Workplace Cultivation of a State-Owned Enterprise Secretary”, and the second part will follow.
In September 2024, I had been working in the news and publicity position of the comprehensive department of this state-owned enterprise for over a year. I thought that most of the things I did were “bullshit work” and didn’t produce any actual value. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I held power in my hands, and I could use that power to influence the situations of my colleagues.
“ysxt work” and my power
The story begins with “online ideological and political management work.” The so-called “online territory” is actually social media accounts. Ideological and political management is about monitoring the content of these accounts.
In simple terms, on social media, any account containing the name of our company + the name of our province (e.g., “N Province A Company Jiajia”, “C City A Company Yizhihua”, “N Province A Company F City Branch 908”, “xx Market North Gate A Company Business Hall”, “West Garden A Company Business Hall”), whether opened by employees or registered by unknown persons in the name of our company, must be managed.
Specifically, for accounts registered and operated by company departments, I need to manage them: 1. Whether there is content that does not conform to the regulations, such as whether there is content that endangers national territory and sovereignty; 2. Whether there is misuse of symbols such as the party flag, party emblem, and Tiananmen Square. And for accounts opened by unknown persons in the name of our company, their existence itself is an ideological risk.
Interestingly, the four words “ideological and political” are sometimes also a risk and need to be avoided. In various textual expressions, unless it is a formal institutional document, the Party Building Department always calls it “ysxt work.”
I still remember how this work fell on my shoulders. One afternoon in November 2023, the Party Building Department suddenly required a group of departments to attend a meeting on “risk control of ysxt in various territories.” In the conference room, the leader of the Party Building Department sat at the head of the conference table, and without waiting for my leader to speak, he solemnly said: Regardless of internal or external, you must seriously deal with “non-compliant” new media operations, establish your own system! Clarify your management measures! You must swing the big stick first! As he spoke, he powerfully waved his hand in the air, making a grasping gesture.
This is the consistent working method of the Party Building Department. As the lead unit, they have the power to break down the work tasks of their department to other relevant departments of the company, and then regularly request materials from each department as the overall responsible person.
Management is divided into three steps. The first is discovery: go to major social media platforms to manually search for how many accounts have our company’s name in their names, avatars, and certifications, but do not belong to our company’s official accounts.
The second is rectification: communicate privately with these wild “risk” accounts one by one, informing the other party not to use our company’s name at will, and requiring them to change their name or cancel their account within a limited time. If the other party does not respond, report to the platform to request the account to be cancelled.
If the above methods are not effective for a certain account, then the third step is to be implemented, which is to include the account in the ledger (the institutional term for an excel table), and then “dynamically supervise” it. Dynamic supervision means how often the account must be checked to see if it has published content.
I felt that this work was absurd to the extreme. What right do we have to manage the social media accounts of people who have nothing to do with us? But this work came from the Party Building Department, and the Party building assessment and inspections would affect the overall company’s score and honor, and then layer by layer responsibility to individuals, affecting employee performance. I had to complete it as required.
Upwards, I have to report to the Party Building Department and other inspection units, and downwards, I have to lead the relevant responsible persons of each department and city branch to implement the work. My decisions will directly determine the height and workload of each unit in carrying out this work. Every time I ask each unit to report materials to me, I always express my apologies and thanks to the other party.
In the first quarter of 2024, colleague Sister Li from the D City branch called me to ask for advice. For accounts whose main identity could not be determined and whose operators could not be contacted, should they still be dynamically supervised?
I understood that this was not asking for advice, but a kind of complaint. After all, we had been working in this way for half a year, and the rules were already clear. Because of guilt, I accepted such emotions and comforted her at the same time: I understand everyone’s thoughts, but the work requirements are like this, and I am also being tightly held by the Party building. This is not a lie. Privately, my self-deprecation was even more blatant, and I jokingly called myself an extra-departmental staff member of the Party Building Department, a subordinate department, a “maid of the Party Building Department.”
As for the various departments of the provincial company, their attitude was obviously impatient. Not getting materials was commonplace. After asking a few more times, the relevant person in charge would sneer and ask, what if people just don’t change their names or cancel their accounts? When I was asked for the first time, I felt guilty and didn’t know how to answer. After hitting the nail on the head too many times, I also got annoyed and directly brought out the Party building: if problems are found, directly deduct the Party building assessment score, and the department general manager will take you to find the Party Building Department general manager, and you can see how to deal with it yourself.
Every time I count the tables reported by the various departments and branches, the biggest test is the number on top. Theoretically, the total number of accounts in the current period = the number of newly added accounts + the number of existing accounts in the previous quarter, but in the actual statistics, it is often the case that the total number of accounts in the previous period + the number of newly added accounts in this period does not match the total number of accounts on the table in this period, sometimes one or two more, sometimes one or two less. I figured that no one would go through the details of each account on each ledger, so I made up one or two accounts myself to make the number of accounts look inconspicuous.
But as the inspection and supervision work progressed, the days when I was perfunctory with this work came to an end—Sister Li, who had asked me for advice, was found by the inspection team to have ideological and political risks: a non-official new media account with the company’s name was not in the monitoring ledger. Our department received a “risk alert” from the Party Building Department.
The email was sent to my mailbox and also copied to my leader, Sister Yuzhen. The risk alert finally said: “For repeated discovery of similar problems, the Party Building Department will request to interview the relevant person in charge of the Comprehensive Department; for the situation of incomplete rectification of self-inspection and supervision problems, and repeated problems, the Party Building Department will propose accountability suggestions to the Party organization secretary.”
This threat angered Sister Yuzhen. She quickly called the Party Building Department and sternly questioned the other party: What is the basis for you to say you want to interview my leader? What are you talking about ‘repeatedly finding problems’? Think about how many materials come from us every year for this work? You are doing this work too formally! She had worked there before, and the person who answered the phone was her former colleague.
I don’t know how the colleague on the other side replied. After hanging up the phone, Sister Yuzhen immediately called General Manager Ren—he is now the deputy general manager of the Party Building Department, in charge of ideological and political related work, and the two are almost equivalent to a job swap. Sister Yuzhen’s attitude was even tougher, blaming General Manager Ren for not being considerate enough: When you were in the Comprehensive Department last year, when did I ever send you a risk alert? Now you don’t even say a word, and you just say you want to interview my leader? Is it appropriate for you to do this work!
I have always known that Sister Yuzhen is very tough when it comes to the division of her own work responsibilities. “Clarifying the responsibility field” is what she often emphasizes to me in her work, but I have never seen her so angry.
But her anger had no effect. The final statement of the Party Building Department was, why can the inspection find it, but the Comprehensive Department can’t find it? In the end, things could only turn inward, back to me.
Sister Yuzhen helped me translate the meaning of the inspection team—they thought we didn’t really put in the effort to do this work. She instructed me to carry out the rectification:
Xiao Zhao, remember, this rectification, including carrying out this work every quarter in the future, must send work requirements by email, and be sure to make the work traces sufficient. In addition, in the news information report of the third quarter, criticize the cities and counties involved in this type of account by name, and make them pay great attention!
Sister Yuzhen put one hand in her pocket, and with the other hand, she stretched out her index finger and forcefully poked forward in the air. The four words “pay great attention” seemed to be squeezed out from between her teeth.
I learned from some workplace bloggers and tried to treat my leaders as partners, especially when facing other departments together. I complained, so what level should we reach to be considered as having done this work well? How can we be sure of the platform’s search mechanism? Even Disney allows people to register with these three words online, how can we control what name people want to register for an account… Isn’t the inspection team just asking people to self-certify? Where is the end of this kind of work?
Sister Yuzhen waved her hand, just like I replied to the city and county branches: The current work situation is like this, there is no way.
I smiled bitterly and said no more, opened the office software, and prepared to write a rectification plan. Sister Yuzhen’s guidance on this was: when giving things to others, the most important thing is not to dig a hole for yourself, and you must write something that can be implemented. I wanted to ask Kimi for help to generate it, but I found that I couldn’t explain my needs to the large model at all. What kind of event is this? Can the large model understand what is a “rigorous measure that does not dig a hole for oneself”?
In the following week, I spent it in rectification. Line rectification naturally requires the cooperation of all relevant personnel. Unexpectedly, Sister Li “discussed” with me again at this time: Can accounts not opened by the company be excluded from management?
I really didn’t expect the other party to raise such a question to me again, at a time when I had already been in trouble and was carrying the rectification requirements because of her lack of work. Anger welled up in my heart, and I asked back: What is the basis for this?
She found a piece of unrelated regulations. I finally threw away the consideration for the grassroots implementers when I had ample space in my own space, and sternly reprimanded, why are you still asking me this question? Didn’t we say this a long time ago? Even if you can’t find out who opened the account for the company, as long as it has your company’s name and can be searched, it must be included in the management? You shouldn’t be unaware of this basic standard after doing this work for so long.
The other party also hesitated for a moment, and I was too lazy to say another word, and bluntly dropped a sentence “Okay, that’s it” and hung up the phone. As soon as I threw the phone on the table, I regretted it again: because I was required, I added more stringent standards to the subordinates, isn’t this the banality of evil? In many moments in the past, as a nobody, I was required to abide by inexplicable and meaningless rules under this logic, and even suffered unwarranted disasters. And now, I myself have become a link in the banality of evil in a small ecosystem.
The constantly proliferating dirty work
Not long after, the various table data of the entire company finally fed back to me. I immediately set up three new folders on the computer, “Zero Report Department”, “Official Account Screening”, and “Departments with Problems”. I set up ledgers in the folders, and each ledger was divided into three sheets: sheet1 was named “Supervision, Self-Inspection and Rectification Situation Ledger”, which was intended to reflect the process actions in the rectification; sheet2 was called “Accounts that need dynamic monitoring”; sheet3 was the dynamic monitoring ledger of each department, and a check mark was made under each account by date, indicating that the account was being monitored.
After counting the total table, the worst situation happened. The latest table showed a total of 89 accounts, but the total number of accounts in the previous quarter plus the newly added accounts in this period was actually ten less than the total number of accounts in this period. I didn’t want to believe it, and reopened the tables reported by each unit, copied, pasted, and sorted by drag-down. Repeating twice, the missing accounts still didn’t appear. I resigned myself to fate and started learning EXECL data verification with Kimi, and then called each department that didn’t match the data.
One account, three accounts, five accounts… When it came to the ninth account, I got stuck again. It was already an hour after work, and I was a little bit collapsed. I took off my glasses and threw them on the table, and wailed and leaned back in my chair. The colleague from B branch on the other end of the phone was about thirty years old. He usually replied to work with a straightforward “I’ll do it” or “I’ll ask”. At this moment, he hesitated, rarely: If it really doesn’t work, I still have two accounts on hand…
What kind of accounts? I straightened my back slightly.
The avatar has our logo, but it can’t be seen from the name. The B company colleague replied.
I almost jumped up from the back of the chair: Send it over, I’ll add it to the existing accounts from last quarter. Finally enough!
Seeing that the numbers on the two tables finally matched, I hung up the phone happily, and couldn’t help but clench my fists tightly and powerfully swipe them in the air and then bring them to my chest, as if the conductor of a symphony orchestra was giving his final dance.
Facts proved that I was too happy too early. The next day, Sister Yuzhen thought of another way to reflect our seriousness: supplement the opening time and the time of the most recent content release of each account in the table, to prove to the leaders that these accounts were “harmless” dead accounts that had not been updated for a long time.
If her request was not made for this work, not made before the end of work on Friday, and not made after I had already finished the summary and sorting, I might not have collapsed. But at that time, when I was full of expectations that I could send away this dirty work, my leader taught me another truth: the dirtiness of dirty work, a part of the important reason lies in its tenacious vitality, and it always proliferates in unexpected places.
My emotional management was only enough for me to make the sound “um”. As soon as I sat back in my chair, I felt that my throat was already stuck, and tears slid out of my eyes. I didn’t want to make a sound, and while I was randomly absorbing my tears with tissue paper, I notified the colleagues in charge of rectification in the province to supplement two more columns of information in the group.
A meaningless job, elevated to the height of ideology, turned into regular work, included in the assessment and inspection, and then transformed into a risk alert and a supervision order, and finally became self-inspection, screening, and a ledger. As long as I am still in this system, I must face and solve the problems raised by the other party. Even if I don’t want to solve it, in order to fully prove that “the responsibility is not mine”, I also have to spend a great deal of effort.
And because the various functional departments of the provincial company do not directly undertake the tasks of production and operation, they do not need to open various new media accounts to promote their business. In the actual implementation process, the screening and rectification work almost all falls on the city and county branches. All my actions will actually become the workload of the grassroots units, and make the branch secretaries, who are already holding multiple positions, repeatedly run around for this bullshit work, entangled and unclear.
Do the work that needs to be done, don’t add extra code, and make everyone comfortable. Is this so difficult? I was crushed by guilt, annoyance, and powerlessness. Seeing that the office was already empty, I simply burst into tears.
I want to change the system
In October, the rectification finally ended. In November, the Party Building Department was going to revise the company’s “Territory Management Measures”. Director Xiao Li reminded me that this was a favorable opportunity to redefine responsibilities.
It was not until this moment that I truly felt where the power of the “management department” lies. If everyone in the company involved in this work has to follow my instructions, then what kind of work space I can create for everyone is crucial.
Now, I must stand up for my line and fight for the boundary. What I want to do is actually very simple, which is to demonstrate that “the Comprehensive Department is not responsible for the non-official new media accounts that have already been generated”, but this is also very difficult, because according to the working principle of our company, it is not enough to rely on common sense to demonstrate. This is a manifestation of not taking responsibility and fearing difficulties. I need to cite the system that has already been released in this line, and I also need to study the loopholes of the Party Building Department and the unfavorable aspects for us.
I pulled out all the relevant documents, looked at the documents issued by the Party Building Department, and also consulted the Group Office about the division and implementation of this work at the headquarters, and communicated with other provincial companies. I marked all the arguments with a pen and stuck on sticky notes. Then I started writing the meeting materials for Sister Yuzhen.
This is probably the most serious study of the system I have done since I joined the company. And in the process of writing the materials, I finally realized the most fundamental absurdity of this work: the power exceeded its own boundaries. The management power of a company can only take effect on its own employees. Reaching out to other people’s fields, how can this kind of work be done? So I formed the following conclusion in the first draft of the materials:
“According to the relevant responsibility division of the Group Company, the Comprehensive Department is responsible for the management of official accounts opened by various departments of the company according to the needs of business development and brand culture construction and promotion. For non-official new media accounts with unclear opening subjects, according to the principle of ‘whoever is in charge is responsible, whoever uses it is responsible, and whoever approves it is responsible for supervision’, the Comprehensive Department has no approval and management authority for this type of account and the account owner, and is not responsible for management. It is recommended that the Party Building Department communicate with the Group Company as a whole.”
Sister Yuzhen was generally satisfied with my materials, but asked me to put the division of labor of the Group line in the forefront. Since the Group Office is not responsible for the screening and rectification of non-official new media accounts, the various provincial companies should not undertake the relevant requirements of the Party Building Department. Therefore, the reporting materials were finally adjusted to two points:
1. Please the company’s Party Building Department communicate with the Group Company’s Party Building Department, divide the ideological and political management responsibilities of this province according to the line management responsibilities, implement the ideological and political management responsibilities, communicate management tools, and ensure the consistency of the line management responsibilities.
2. According to the relevant responsibility division of the Group Company, the Comprehensive Department is responsible for the filing and supervision of the official accounts of the provincial company. For non-official new media accounts with unclear opening subjects, the Comprehensive Department has no approval and management authority for this type of account and the account owner, and is not responsible for management. It is recommended that the Party Building Department communicate with the Group Company’s Party Building Department on related work.
As an employee, the work I can do has come to an end. I sent my leader into the meeting room like a parent sending their child to the exam. A few hours later, as soon as Sister Yuzhen stepped into the office door, she shouted to me: Xiao Zhao, it’s been agreed with the Party Building Department.”
I hurried to stand up, and saw her wave a stack of meeting materials and throw them on the table, announcing the results: In the future, this work will be divided according to the responsibility of the place of origin. If there is a problem in which city, they will be responsible for it themselves, and the provincial company will no longer be jointly responsible for rectification.
Before Sister Yuzhen entered the meeting room, I had already imagined that the result might not be as I wished, but I didn’t expect that the news she brought would be completely opposite to my intentions. I originally wanted to clear the responsibility for the entire line and reduce the workload of the city and county branches, but the result was that I cleared myself. What kind of expressions will those who report this work to me see when they see this new regulation?
I cannot accept that this work presents the appearance of “I am shifting the blame to the lower-level units”. The upward space has disappeared. Now, to reverse this situation, I can only start from the part that I can grasp—no matter what, I still have the decision-making power over the work execution method of this line. I decided to revise the relevant management system within the line myself and get rid of the part that is not conducive to our management.
At first, I wanted to start with the characteristics of those various accounts. In addition to all having our company’s name, another characteristic of them is that the number of fans is almost in the single digits. Even if content is released, the possibility of widespread dissemination is extremely low. My proposal was quite conservative: “If the number of fans is less than 50 and has not been updated for more than a year, it is considered a risk-free zombie account and will not be specially supervised.”
But this point was rejected in the Director Xiao Li’s session: Not including it in the management means that there is a gap in the work for the Party Building Department, and it will definitely be questioned.
I accepted the director’s opinion and decided to return to the root of the problem and let the power return to my own boundary: If an account is verified not to be opened by the company’s internal personnel, then the Comprehensive Department has no management authority and is not responsible for management. This idea finally fell into writing and formed the following expression:
Article 17 Standardize the screening mechanism for new media accounts. The Comprehensive Department takes the lead in organizing the screening and clearing of new media accounts. The screening scope mainly includes the company’s official new media accounts and the new media accounts related to the company opened by the company’s employees. For non-official new media accounts found during the screening, if they are indeed opened by the company’s employees, according to the principle of the place of origin, whoever uses it is responsible, and whoever is in charge is responsible, and the relevant accounts will be rectified.
Article 18 Strengthen the management of new media accounts in the line. The Market and Operation Department, as the department in charge of channel operations, should establish a management mechanism for channel personnel in the opening of new media accounts, to achieve end-to-end penetration and closed-loop management.
The director approved this version, and I was able to report this modification work to Sister Yuzhen, and Sister Yingying was also called to the side. Sister Yuzhen stared at me and asked sincerely: “Xiao Zhao, I’m really puzzled, why has it been rectified for so long, there are still accounts with our company’s name, and they always (need to) be eliminated?”
This is not the first time I have faced this problem. Every time a new account is found, Sister Yuzhen will ask angrily, you said not to register, not to register, why are people still registering?! Every time at this time, the knowledge points of the postgraduate entrance examination always pop up in my mind: the emergence and node-ization of new media… I didn’t expect that I would have to use it again to explain the problem when I walked out of the exam room. But the academic explanation is meaningless. Usually, I will directly answer: Now, you only need a mobile phone number to register an account, and we haven’t applied for a patent for this name…
Now, I have understood that the leader wants a more specific answer, so I answered with a firm tone: “Mainly channel providers.”. Sister Yingying strengthened my answer’s credibility: “Indeed, those people are opening the company’s sales stores, and there is nothing wrong with it.”
“Yes, so I communicated with the channel management colleagues in the marketing department last quarter, and they have already written this requirement into the channel assessment. If channel providers open channels in the name of the company without authorization, one point will be deducted.”
The deduction of points is the result of my communication with the channel management colleagues in the marketing department. When negotiating management methods, I gave the vague statement of “serious handling”, and the marketing department colleagues specified two points: first, do a good job of relevant training for the channels, and second, manage the channels by deducting points. The score will determine the channel fees that each store can get, which is equivalent to that as long as they open an account, they will get less money.
Of course, I know that this strong control is contradictory to the needs of grassroots business development, but I no longer have the energy to feel guilty. This matter can only be blamed on the work of the Party Building Department itself. I am only happy that I have finally found a truly effective way to prevent the endless new accounts, and let my colleagues and these dirty works have less entanglement.
Sister Yuzhen said, “Now we have a key point to clarify, which is to ensure that the new accounts are not opened by company employees. If there are, we will name and report them.”
The problem has returned to the beginning. The real difficulty is that I cannot interfere with and manage how anyone uses their own social media accounts. I am too lazy to express it euphemistically again: “This cannot be guaranteed, leader.”
Sister Yuzhen was not satisfied: “That won’t work.” The three words jumped out of her mouth very quickly. “Why? The channel accounts are thrown to the market, and the accounts in various cities are also handled according to the principle of the place of origin. Only the employees of the provincial company are left. We clearly require that they are not allowed to register accounts in their official capacity. If they know it and violate it, aren’t we derelict in our duty?”
Now, I began to explain to the leader that, theoretically speaking, the new media accounts containing our company’s name may come from anyone living in this region and country. And “our authority can only reach the company’s employees, not the social personnel. If an account is not registered by our company’s employees, then it is not our responsibility, can we ignore it?”
“I understand your thoughts now. Because the Party Building Department has shifted the responsibility to us, so you want to use this sentence to clear the responsibility of the city and county, right?” Sister Yuzhen still did not pay attention to common sense, but returned to the responsibility allocation she was more familiar with, and pointed out my thoughts.
“Yes.” I knew my report was successful. Sure enough, the other party replied: “Okay, let’s report to the leaders like this, and you will go with me to Xiao Zhao.”
“Ah?” I had never been to the leader’s special meeting, and I was surprised when I heard it, and then joked with Sister Yuzhen that I was afraid. Sister Yuzhen smiled: “Don’t be afraid, if you think it should be done this way, then we will go and report to them. Now the company leaders are still very nervous about this thing. As long as we are right, even if we are scolded out, it doesn’t matter. We will tell them over and over again, and it will change slowly.”
I was filled with respect for Zhou Yuzhen for the first time.
From the drafting of the system to the final approval of the leader’s decision at the meeting, it took more than ten days. In the meantime, Sister Yuzhen once asked me to remove the sentence “if it is indeed opened by the company’s employees”, and I did it. I guessed that she felt that this sentence was too much like shifting the blame, and she was worried that the leader would be dissatisfied.
But on the eve of submitting the meeting materials, I still hesitated and asked her: “Sister Yuzhen, can that sentence not be removed?” I still hope to clarify the work boundary and let the colleagues in the line do less useless work. At that time, there was no one else in the office. Sister Yuzhen looked at me, pondered for a moment, and then sighed and finally agreed. She guessed that the leader would not notice that sentence.
I immediately felt relieved and happily put the sentence back. I clicked to send the meeting materials, and then shut down the computer, put the charger, glasses, and other objects into my backpack, and left the office building with light steps. My heart was filled with a sense of satisfaction: I have treated my power seriously with my conscience, and I have done everything I can to create space for the lower-level implementing units as much as possible.
The next day, at the meeting, although I was only sitting in the last row and listening to Sister Yuzhen’s report, I still wore the polyester fiber fabric work clothes properly. However, a few days later, a quarrel between Sister Yuzhen and a colleague from the inspection office made me fall into self-doubt again.
The matter is not complicated. The colleague from the inspection office, in order to make his own work task “look good”, asked our department to make relevant ledgers. Sister Yuzhen was furious, and the matter finally ended with both sides taking a step back. Afterwards, Sister Yuzhen’s anger subsided, and she didn’t know whether it was self-consolation or comforting the relevant colleagues, and murmured that Xiao Zhou (the colleague from the inspection office) was also a serious person, and this was also for work.
I was originally watching the fun, but I was caught off guard by the sentence “for work”, and I recalled the system I had introduced.
I am also a serious person, and I am also being pushed by certain people, certain systems, and certain powers, and I have made up my mind to solve this matter. But is it better to have a lump of chaotic shit, or a lump of well-organized shit? Am I really doing good for everyone, or am I already assisting in evil without realizing it and feeling complacent? Is this my legacy, or the harm I have left behind?
Another video
December is the closing moment of the year, and the important work is the year-end summary, and the more important part of it is to make the leaders have a sense of the summary. For the Comprehensive Department, the summary video played at the year-end meeting of the entire company is the annual face-showing moment. I spent most of my time on the promotional video at the end of the year.
By mid-December, this film had been repeatedly revised for two months, and Sister Yuzhen could still find unsatisfactory places. Another version of the video was released, and we watched it frame by frame in the conference room. Sister Yuzhen held her phone, supported her glasses, leaned her neck forward, and watched intently. And I had long lost the desire to watch this video. Most of the time, I was observing Sister Yuzhen’s expression. Although she had been frowning during the viewing process, if she frowned deeper, retracted her neck, or turned her face slightly and quickly to the side, it meant that she was dissatisfied with the content she was seeing. At this time, I had to quickly return to the video content and explain why this section was handled in this way.
But what I can explain is only the problems I know, and there are some problems that are far beyond my imagination. For example, at this moment, Sister Yuzhen suddenly tapped the screen and pressed pause: Here!
I quickly checked for the thunder points: The screen shows a worker wearing a safety helmet in the computer room, the person on the screen is wearing a brand new work uniform—showing the huge logo of our company; the expression is focused and natural, and the body posture is relaxed—avoiding the problems of being sloppy and lacking spirit. What went wrong? I was puzzled and kept silent and waited for her to speak.
Sister Yuzhen is always clear about her needs in her work and never lets her subordinates guess her intentions. This time was the same. She almost didn’t let me wait: low to death! Why are there so many people wearing safety helmets?! The company leaders have said that we are a technology company, not street vendors selling goods! Putting so many of them on, people will think that our company is all workers!
I was shocked for a moment, and the emotion of anger quickly became clear: Why can she say such things? Where does her salary of more than 10,000 yuan a month come from without these low people raising the company’s business? Does she really think that the bullshit materials she types on the keyboard in the office every day are creating value?
But I still suppressed my anger and explained: Isn’t safety production being strictly checked now? These operations all need to wear helmets, and engineers are the same when they go to the site.
It’s too much! Zhou Yuzhen’s dissatisfaction did not diminish at all. I just wanted her to shut up and replied decisively: Then take it off, don’t put it on, I’ll change the lens.
Coming out of the conference room, Zhou Yuzhen walked to the left and returned to the office, while I walked straight to the right and went to the bathroom. Although I have been working for more than a year, I still dare not leave my work station for too long to relax, so I can only run to the toilet time and time again when I am irritable.
I opened the bathroom door, then let go directly. A few seconds later, a loud “bang” came from behind me. It was the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut on its own. The hand I used to open the bathroom stall door suddenly paused. I remembered that I used to hold the doorknob and silently close the bathroom door. Since when did I, like my other colleagues, let this door slam shut behind me? Even if the colleagues working in the hall were already taking a lunch break, I didn’t care?
Two weeks later, the year-end meeting promotional video finally reached the review stage of the newly assigned leader. Sister Yuzhen, General Yan, and General Yan’s direct leader, General Wang, all came to the meeting. Because the company’s annual meeting was approaching, some departments were rehearsing programs in the meeting. Sister Yuzhen cleared the crowd and instructed me to close the meeting room door to prevent “leaks”.
General Wang sat in the middle, with General Yan and Sister Yuzhen on either side of him. I stood next to Sister Yuzhen. After the video was played, miraculously, General Wang hardly made any requests, only saying that the black background and white text were the colors used for the dead in their place, and to change it. Sister Yuzhen smiled and agreed. Then, General Wang stood up, and as I passed Sister Yuzhen, we looked at each other. Almost instinctively, I showed a relieved smile and secretly gave a thumbs up. I don’t know when I learned this performance, but in short, I can already use it skillfully. But what’s the point of this performance in the end? I thought to myself with a little self-mockery.
Two days later, the year-end work meeting began. As usual, I arrived at the venue an hour early to test the video and PPT. After the test, I stood there, watching my own back in the live broadcast screen of the venue—hugging my arms, standing straight, looking up at the big screen. Others wore dark leather shoes and high heels, but I was wearing a pair of white Nike Air Force 1s, which were glaring on the screen. An idea clearly surfaced in my mind: “This is my last time in this venue.”
The Season of Harvest
The busyness of December is accompanied by some exciting feedback. Winter is more like the season of harvest than autumn. For example, the labor protection supplies points issued by the unit are about to be cleared.
In 2023, I didn’t understand what labor protection supplies were when I first got these points, but I was already able to translate it directly into “employee benefits” without a teacher (I only knew after checking that “labor protection supplies refer to a defensive equipment necessary to protect the personal safety and health of workers during the production process”). Converted to RMB, male employees get 2,260 yuan in labor protection funds each year, and female employees also have a women’s hygiene supplies fee in addition to the labor protection supplies points, and the labor protection funds are also 1,000 yuan more than male employees. These points are issued through a platform developed by the company itself and cannot be exchanged for cash, only purchased within the platform. The platform provides goods for employees by connecting to JD.com, and the product categories range from daily necessities to clothes and shoes. I have compared the prices of these products and found that compared to JD.com, the same product in the same store has a premium of dozens to hundreds of yuan on the labor protection platform.
In this “not market-oriented” trading place, the premium is also a manifestation of market rules. No one will give up this platform because of the premium, and how to spend the points most cost-effectively is also a skill. In the first year of getting the labor protection points, I used thousands of yuan to buy daily necessities. In the second year, I realized that buying “large items” with non-circulating currency was the most cost-effective, which is also the strategy of most people in the office: the property sister chose a Bosideng down jacket for herself and her daughter, Sister Yuzhen’s coat, inner wear, and high heels were all replaced, and Sister Xiaoli bought the same high heels as Sister Yuzhen. I used two-thirds of the points to buy a down jacket for myself and my mother, bought a pair of shoes for myself, and used the remaining one-third to purchase the shortage of daily necessities. After working for nearly two years, I have never used circulating currency to buy sanitary napkins and shampoo. Throughout December, the express delivery cabinets downstairs in the company were always full, and the couriers frequently called the colleagues in the department to come downstairs to pick up the express delivery: “The express delivery cabinets are full, and the front desk of your company doesn’t allow it.”
Even more exciting is that, according to the requirements of the financial accounting, the year-end bonus must be issued before January of the following year. As soon as December arrived, everyone entered a state of waiting for the year-end bonus. Whenever I was manipulated by work like a spinning washing machine, I would also imagine my year-end bonus: whether it was a special report or the 25th anniversary promotional video, the work that the department was praised by the leaders this year, I participated greatly and made visible achievements, and the income should be okay.
On December 24th, before getting off work, Director Xiaoli told me about the year-end performance evaluation. My performance level was rated as C, and my contribution was rated as good—according to Director Xiaoli, this was “the leader’s recognition of my contribution”.
The year-end performance bonus is jointly determined by the job level, performance level, and contribution coefficient. And my corresponding specific values are: 6, 1, 0.8. I don’t know how to use these three numbers to get my year-end bonus amount, but I have a very simple understanding: the larger the number, the more bonus. My job level is 6—the lowest job level in the company, which cannot be changed in the short term; the performance level is 1 (level C)—the A level (1.2) and B level (1.1) that each department can give are limited. As a newcomer who has been employed for a year, it is absolutely impossible to get a level above C when it comes to the distribution of large bonuses; therefore, it seems that the contribution coefficient is the only opportunity for me to improve the overall coefficient level. So I asked: “What is the contribution level of others?”
The leader did not answer: “There is such a process, and I also hope you can look at it objectively and grow up as soon as possible. In terms of the contribution coefficient, the leader still gave you a good rating. You have to adapt to this organizational method next year, not only the quality of work, but also how you treat people and the perception of everyone, which are very important. I also hope that you can improve your adaptability in your job responsibilities.”
The contribution coefficient is divided into three levels: excellent is 0.9, good is 0.8, and general is 0.75. The leader recognized me so much, and I didn’t earn more than 0.05 points, and I may not be the only one who got these 0.05 points. Director Xiaoli told me that I could say anything I had problems with and opinions, but I already understood that this was a notification rather than soliciting opinions. Disheartened, I could only comfort myself with Ah Q: After all, it’s the third quarter bonus plus the year-end bonus, it shouldn’t be too bad.
At noon at the end of December, my fantasy was completely shattered. On this day, I rushed to the cafeteria after finishing my overtime work. My friends who were eating with me asked me about the bonus situation, and I realized that the bonus had already been issued. I opened my phone and reported the amount, a total of 38,000 yuan for the third quarter bonus plus the year-end bonus. The five people at the table were silent for a moment. After a while, the colleagues from the marketing department took the lead in breaking the silence: Your department is really not human… You’ve been so busy all year and you get so little, you might as well come to the marketing department.
Hearing this, I already knew that my bonus was the lowest among the six people at the table. I felt a sense of shame, which also appeared when Zhou Yuzhen questioned my performance with the performance form in the first quarter, “Don’t you want more money?” But I couldn’t show this pain and heartbreak, otherwise I would look even more pitiful and make my friends embarrassed. I could only pretend to be ignorant and ask: Ah? Is it very low? What about you, what about you?
After further questioning, I learned that my bonus income was only half of that of my colleagues who joined the marketing department at the same time. Even in the management department, it was nearly one-third less than that of the legal affairs colleagues. And I later learned that even within the department, my bonus was nearly twice as different from that of the old employees.
From that day on, the only spiritual pillar that supported me was also taken away, and I reluctantly did my work. On January 10th, the two tasks I was working on were about to reach the deadline. I asked Sister Yuzhen if I could temporarily adjust the workload I was working on so that the work could be completed on time.
Sister Yuzhen refused: Everyone in the department is very busy. The year-end summary you filled out for the group, that work doesn’t take much time either. I’ve done all the work of the Comprehensive Department, and those don’t take much time, you can just do it. “
“I’ve done all the work of the Comprehensive Department” is what she often says—assuming that all the work requirements remain static during the six years she has been transferred, this sentence may indeed be true. And the work she thought “doesn’t take much time” is a new assessment project proposed by the Group Company in 2023 for the propaganda work of each province—a total of nearly thirty detailed items, each of which needs to list the details of the whole year and count the scores.
I knew she couldn’t respond to my request. So I sat down in silence, picked up the cup and took a sip of water, and my upper lip and the inside of my mouth quickly swelled—I forgot that this was a cup of freshly boiled water. The pain crushed me like the last straw that broke the camel’s back. I pulled out a tissue and pressed it on my eyes, and burst into tears. I finally calmed down a little, but unfortunately, Sister Yuzhen stood up and wanted to assign me work. Seeing me like this, she called me and Document Sister, and asked us to go to the small meeting room for a meeting.
Sister Yuzhen said as she pulled out a chair: “Xiao Zhao, tell me what urgent things you have these two days.” Seeing that I had nothing in my hands, Sister Yuzhen tore a piece of paper from her notebook and took a pen from the pen holder on the conference table: “Come on, here’s the paper, write it down.”
I was caught off guard, and my first reaction was panic: Doesn’t this look like I’m throwing work to my colleagues? But I was already in a difficult situation. In a state of confusion, I took the paper and pen, and while writing, I calculated the workload and submission time of each of my tasks—seven main tasks, four of which had to be completed that week, and the annual meeting was approaching, so I was not surprised to be pushed out to perform programs, and I also had to take time to participate in rehearsals and performances. In order to suppress my emotions, I kept taking deep breaths during the gaps in my speech.
“Okay, I know. I thought I had done all these tasks in the Comprehensive Department, and it wouldn’t take much time.” Sister Yuzhen still greeted me with this sentence, “But since you mentioned it, and you did list it just now, then let others cooperate with you. After you finish cooperating, you review it, and then give it to me for review. Overall, everyone is really busy, and you sometimes have grievances…”
“No, I just accidentally burned myself.” I felt ashamed, as if my immaturity had caused this situation, so I quickly interrupted her.
Sister Yuzhen turned a deaf ear: “Sometimes you can’t say that you are strong, you just have to overcome it yourself. Everyone is very busy. According to the principle, I should have sent you to follow the general manager of the group to our company for research, but I thought about it and didn’t. First, you have a lot of things to do, and second, this work is really troublesome, and you have to unify the templates for all cities and counties, and the materials will be more than twenty pages when they are organized. I have done all of your work before, and I know exactly how much time each task takes. The current work situation is like this, and it’s not like before. You can also talk to the relevant personnel directly when you need it, and I believe everyone will definitely help you.”
I tried to get things back to the beginning, so that I wouldn’t seem too weak and passive: “I was just saying that because the time for these tasks is tight, I was wondering if there could be some adjustments. Everyone in the office doesn’t need to say that they have helped me a lot, and I really didn’t expect you to make such a move, leader.”
Sister Yuzhen smiled and didn’t take my words: “You, in our opinion, are like a little sister, and everyone will consider your overall situation.”
I turned my head and stopped looking at Sister Yuzhen, just repeatedly drawing a square on the paper. Seeing this, Sister Yuzhen sent Document Sister away first, and began to talk to me alone: “Are you still feeling stressed now?”
My pen strokes became more rapid, and the pen tip interacted with the paper and the desktop, making a “squeaking” sound. The other party obviously didn’t need me to respond. She acted like a caring big sister, sat down beside me, and continued to tell me about her own difficulties back then, the hard work of other colleagues in the department, and taught me how to coordinate with colleagues, as if I was the initiator of this farce. I didn’t respond anymore, until General Yan suddenly pushed open the door of the meeting room, and this ridiculous meeting finally ended.
I came out of the dark meeting room and felt that the lights in the office were even more dazzling. Document Sister and Property Sister have always been close, what will they do to me? As I thought, although Document Sister was fine on the surface, Property Sister was straightforward and quick-tempered, and those days she saw me in the corridor as if she hadn’t seen me. But I no longer cared about my relationship with my colleagues.
To be continued
The characters in the text are pseudonyms
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