Aquarius Era | Xi’an Female Nurse Domestic Violence Death Case: She was silent in her words, and sought survival in her diary

On January 3, 2024, Dong Wenhui wrote in her diary:

“I’ve been through death, the feeling of losing consciousness, the taste of being on the verge of death. Fear, terror, helplessness, and confusion, being threatened with a knife to the neck, and having no home to return to. Freedom! Freedom! I don’t know if I’m numb or have grown up, but when faced with inquiries from colleagues, I brush it off lightly… The physical pain and scars constantly remind me… The only thing I can do when I meet people I dislike and dangerous people is to stay away.”

The perpetrator was her boyfriend of 5 years, Shi Jiahao, with whom she lived.

On the evening of June 20, half a year later, in a car at a secluded intersection in Baqiao District, Xi’an, Shi Jiahao took out a 40-centimeter-long double-edged dagger from the foot pad of the driver’s seat and stabbed Dong Wenhui in the neck, causing her to die from excessive bleeding. Shi Jiahao covered her with a pre-prepared quilt and drove to the police station to surrender.

According to police investigation, Dong Wenhui had proposed a breakup to Shi Jiahao in the car.

This was not a simple case of a crime of passion. Before her death, Dong Wenhui had endured long-term domestic violence, including beatings, verbal threats, and economic oppression. She had tried to seek help but to no avail, and the feeling of helplessness made her become silent, turning to writing diaries and learning nonviolent communication in an attempt to gain spiritual comfort and liberation. But violence never stops because of the victim’s self-reflection.

She should not have been the only one to resist this harm.

The crying in the room

Dong Wenhui started writing a diary after a miscarriage.

In early December 2023, Dong was 30 years old. She went to a hospital 10 kilometers away to have a medical abortion because she was a nurse by profession, so she deliberately avoided her own work unit and kept it a secret from her family.

Dong Wenhui’s profession is a nurse, and she previously worked at the Tangdu Hospital in Baqiao District, Xi’an. (Photo_Network)

At the beginning of the new year, perhaps wanting to get rid of the shadows of the past, she wrote a message at the beginning of her diary: “Every day is unique, post more on Moments, post more on Douyin, and leave some beautiful memories for myself.” However, things went against her wishes. On the third day of the new year, her diary recorded again her fear and helplessness of being threatened with a knife.

Dong Wenhui’s kitchen knife, her mother said that her daughter said it was bought by Shi Jiahao. (Photo_Author/Photo)

On January 24, 2024, she said that she was strangled and beaten by Shi Jiahao, “The necklace was also torn off, with red spots on her eyes and scars on her neck, and she still had to go to work…” This was the last entry in Dong Wenhui’s diary, but the violence did not end because she stopped recording.

On January 24, 2024, Dong Wenhui recorded the last entry in her diary. (Photo_Author/Photo)

In the early morning of March 26, 2024, just after 12 o’clock, Dong Wenhui rarely called her father, Dong Junqiang. Dong Junqiang, who had already fallen asleep, did not answer the phone. He later realized that the call was a cry for help from his daughter.

That morning, Dong Junqiang called back and asked his daughter if she wanted to come home for dinner, and she agreed. “She usually has the night shift at the hospital, and we (usually) don’t call her, for fear of disturbing her rest.” That day, Dong Wenhui unusually returned home in the morning, but she wore a mask as soon as she entered the door and hid directly in her room. The old couple heard their daughter crying outside the door.

“She had injuries on her neck and wrists,” Dong Junqiang took out photos from his phone, which showed a bruise on Dong Wenhui’s wrist, and in another photo, there was a white steel pipe folding chair, “(On her wrist) it was beaten with this chair with a backrest, and the chair was broken.”

Bruises on Dong Wenhui’s neck (Photo_Douyin@Dong Wenhui’s sister)

Under the parents’ questioning, Dong Wenhui finally admitted that she had a boyfriend of five years who she had been living with, and that he had beaten her last night and was still staying in the small apartment she had bought herself.

Dong Junqiang, his wife, and son immediately took Dong Wenhui back to the apartment. Downstairs, Dong Wenhui stopped her younger brother who was rushing upstairs, “She said, you can’t go up, he can do anything.” Dong Junqiang called the police downstairs, and Dong Wenhui pointed out Shi Jiahao to her father. “That demon came out of the elevator at that time, and I didn’t recognize him for the first time. He said in front of the police officers, ‘What do you think we should do about this?’, without any shame.”

On the afternoon of March 26, Dong Wenhui and Shi Jiahao went to the police station to make a statement. But it was not until 3 months later that the family learned the details of the questioning that day: Shi Jiahao admitted to the police that on the evening of March 25, he used a folding stool and fists to beat Dong Wenhui, slapping her, causing multiple bruises and injuries all over her body.

The statement also mentioned that Dong Wenhui had been beaten multiple times before. In early 2023, Shi Jiahao had burned her chest with a cigarette butt, leaving a scar, because he found that Dong Wenhui’s Douyin had records of mutual visits and likes with others.

The “Attorney’s Opinion Letter” submitted by the Jing Shi Law Firm to the procuratorate. (Photo_Douyin@Dong Wenhui’s father)

Two reports to the police, the perpetrator threatened to withdraw the case

That day of the report, was the first time Dong Wenhui’s parents saw Shi Jiahao. He had a shaved head and was very thin, “His posture was loose and sloppy, and his speech was also frivolous, he didn’t look like a good person,” said Dong Wenhui’s mother, Ma Yanhua.

After several inquiries, she learned that Shi Jiahao was from the neighboring village of Yongshou County, Xianyang, and made a living by driving a truck. He was originally the middleman who introduced Dong Wenhui to a dating partner, and he was the same age as Dong Wenhui. At that time, he was already married and had two sons. “My daughter added the man introduced to her on WeChat, and after chatting for a few days, she felt that it was not suitable, so she deleted him. As a result, after a while, she wanted to add him back, and when she asked Shi Jiahao for the contact information, he blocked it.”

Dong Wenhui told her parents that she was initially unaware, and later advised Shi Jiahao not to divorce, but he did not listen. In November 2019, he moved into Dong Wenhui’s home and lived with her until now.

On the night of the report, Shi Jiahao was left at the police station, and Dong Wenhui returned home. Her father immediately changed the locks for her and told her not to have any further contact with Shi Jiahao. The next day, Dong Wenhui took the initiative to withdraw the case. “Shi Jiahao told her on WeChat that he didn’t want to have a criminal record and threatened her to withdraw the case,” Ma Yanhua said angrily.

Dong Na, Dong Wenhui’s sister who works in Gansu, knew that Dong Wenhui had been threatened with a knife by Shi Jiahao, and she felt that the situation was serious. She tried to call the police remotely using the Xi’an area code. But the dispatcher said, “Nothing happened, they can’t handle it.” The two reports to the police had a very limited deterrent effect on Shi Jiahao, which may have influenced Dong Wenhui’s later choices.

A month later, Dong Junqiang encountered Shi Jiahao again and had a conflict. He proposed to call the police, but before the call was connected, Dong Wenhui stopped him. Dong Junqiang pointed to the 110 call record of that day and recalled, “She said she had to go to the night shift later and couldn’t go to the police station, so she hung up before the call went through.”

Lin Mo, a volunteer social worker who has long provided assistance to women who have been subjected to violence, explained: “Victims of domestic violence often fall into a state of learned helplessness, not believing that they have the ability to resist or escape the perpetrator, and can only submit to the other party. This is a more common psychological state for women who have been subjected to violence.” She said, If the victim’s previous attempts to seek help did not receive an effective response, such as after reporting to the police, Shi Jiahao was not punished, this will further deepen her sense of helplessness. It is understood that, in addition to reporting to the police, Dong Wenhui did not seek help from the Women’s Federation, social workers, or other people.

The family intervened without results, “If you don’t get married, it’s either you or me”

That time, Dong Junqiang encountered Shi Jiahao again by accident. He thought his daughter had already broken off contact with this dangerous person. Out of concern for Dong Wenhui’s safety, the old couple met with their daughter more frequently than before.

On May 6, 2024, Dong Junqiang and his wife suddenly wanted to see their daughter. As soon as they went upstairs, they saw cigarette butts on the hallway, and the couple felt uneasy. When they entered their daughter’s home, they saw Dong Wenhui eating, while Shi Jiahao was coming out of the bathroom in the room. Dong Junqiang guessed: “It was him who was squatting outside, (and then) smoked more than a dozen cigarette butts.”

On May 6, 2024, the figure of Shi Jiahao taken by Dong Wenhui’s family. (Photo_Network)

Seeing the person who had abused his daughter again in the house, Dong Junqiang was furious. He subconsciously blamed his daughter for being unassertive, kicked Dong Wenhui, and forced her to state her attitude, demanding that she no longer associate with Shi Jiahao, but Dong Wenhui did not speak. “She kept crying, and I hit her, and she cried and said ‘anyone can hit me’, she wanted to jump down from upstairs, (but) she was afraid.”

Shi Jiahao knelt down and stopped Dong Junqiang from hitting his daughter, begging the couple to allow them to be together. Dong Junqiang said sternly: “Unless I die, as long as I’m alive, you two can never be together.” Shi Jiahao immediately stood up and fiercely pulled Dong Junqiang away, and his arm was also pulled, leaving a bruise. Shi Jiahao told Dong’s family in a more forceful tone that he would marry Dong Wenhui, otherwise it would be either you or me. “I said you’ve been married, you’re not suitable, and he said he was divorced, and he didn’t want the children either, he just wanted to marry my daughter.”

The parents couldn’t get through, so Shi Jiahao called Dong Na, his sister in Gansu, and asked her to persuade her parents to agree to their marriage. “That was the first time I talked to him, and he was particularly arrogant, saying that he must marry my sister, otherwise it would be either you or me.”

“Either you or me”, this sentence is not a simple “threat” for Dong Wenhui.

Ma Yanhua heard her daughter say that Shi Jiahao had once held a knife to her neck, which was an old-fashioned kitchen knife with a particularly thick back, used to chop meat bones. Dong Wenhui told her mother that the knife was bought by Shi Jiahao, and there were four knife marks he had cut on the wall of the house.

The knife marks left on the wall of Dong Wenhui’s house (Photo_Author/Photo)

The perpetrator premeditated the crime and had “predicted” that there were two knives

Dong Junqiang later heard from relatives that Shi Jiahao’s father had already “predicted” to Dong’s family that there were two knives.

Dong Wenhui’s aunt told the Aquarius Era that she and Shi Jiahao’s father lived in the same village, and her husband had also asked Shi Jiahao to get fish fry. Around May 2024, at lunchtime, Shi Jiahao’s father suddenly came to her house and said to the couple that Shi Jiahao had prepared two knives. “After he finished speaking, he left, and my husband and I didn’t say anything.”

On March 1, 2025, the author visited Shi Jiahao’s hometown village. It is separated from Dong Wenhui’s village by a national highway, and the drive is only ten minutes away. Shi Jiahao’s father had already moved to the city after the Chinese New Year. The villagers and neighbors were very discreet when mentioning Shi Jiahao, and after chatting for a long time, they covered their mouths and said: “Jiahao killed someone, he’s in prison.”

Villagers familiar with Shi Jiahao’s father introduced that Shi Jiahao’s family had two brothers, and he was the eldest. His father is a local farmer with a bad heart, and his mother works in a hot pot restaurant in the city. The couple are both in their 60s. People familiar with the village know that Shi Jiahao was imprisoned last year for killing his girlfriend. “He was originally introduced to another man (Dong Wenhui), and later Jiahao got along with her. That woman was a head nurse at a hospital, and she bought an apartment in Xi’an and earned more than 10,000 yuan a month,” the villagers said.

Before the crime, Shi Jiahao made a living by driving a truck and did not often go home. In the eyes of the villagers, his life was good, and he had a gentle wife, “She was very well-behaved, a clerk.” He also had two sons, the elder son is already in the second grade this year, and the younger son is in kindergarten, and the two children are only a year or two apart. In May 2020, he divorced his ex-wife, “He divorced secretly, and his family couldn’t control him, and the children are now being taken care of by his wife,” said a well-informed villager.

Regarding Shi Jiahao’s motive for the crime, villagers who have known Shi Jiahao’s family for many years speculated that Shi Jiahao’s family seemed to have resentment towards Dong Wenhui, believing that their son divorced his wife and abandoned his children for her, but later she was unwilling to marry Shi Jiahao.

The Aquarius Era contacted Shi Jiahao’s younger brother through a social platform and asked about his motive for the crime, whether there were other economic disputes between the two, and whether Shi Jiahao had told his family that he had threatened Dong Wenhui with a knife. The other party said that they had nothing to say.

Parents take turns guarding, still unable to stop the tragedy from happening

From May 6, 2024, when the fierce conflict broke out, Dong Junqiang and his wife stayed in their daughter’s small apartment, and occasionally picked her up and dropped her off from work to prevent Shi Jiahao from pestering her again. Dong Junqiang felt unable to let go of the fact that he had hit his daughter that day, “Her sister and her brother were beaten for not studying hard when they were young, but only she was excellent in everything and didn’t make people worry at all. Her father kicked her that day, it was the first time he hit her, and he regretted it very much,” said Ma Yanhua.

In the past, Dong Wenhui would go home whenever she had a vacation, help her mother with housework, and play with her little niece Mengmeng. In her diary, she said: “The time with my family is always happy, especially after Mengmeng comes back… I want to take the baby to go shopping, eat delicious food together, and create some beautiful memories together.” In her Douyin account, there is also a large part of the laughter of her family and niece. Ma Yanhua carefully recalled her daughter’s daily life, “She was not happy at work, the head nurse was a bit suppressing her, and she had difficulties preparing her professional title papers, and she would tell me when she came back. But (Shi Jiahao) this matter, she didn’t tell us at all.”

The three of them were in the same room, but Dong Wenhui was more silent than ever. After work, she would lie down and look at her phone, and occasionally she would tell them to leave.

During this period, Dong Na received a WeChat message from her sister, asking about her work unit. Dong Na didn’t think much of it and replied with the specific information. She later suspected that the person on the other end of the phone might be Shi Jiahao. “The unit used to register information, and all of this was sent in the family group, and there was no private chat, and my sister had a record of it. He also asked about my brother and my sister-in-law, and he knew the situation of the whole family very well.”

On June 19, 2024, Dong Junqiang and his wife stayed for 10 consecutive days. Their grandson, who was on summer vacation, was going to arrive home in the evening, so they went back in the afternoon to clean up in advance. On the other hand, the communication with their daughter was frustrated, which also made them feel stuffy and annoyed in their daughter’s small apartment.

The tragedy happened at a time when everyone was relaxed. Around 10 p.m. on June 20, 2024, Dong Junqiang was sitting on the sofa, watching photos of his daughter-in-law and grandson’s trip, when he suddenly received a vague phone call from the police. He hurried to the police station, and the police told him that his daughter had been killed.

“I understood at the time that it was Shi Jiahao, he had been squatting at the door before!” Dong Junqiang cried with a hoarse voice. After the incident, Dong Na speculated that her sister’s silence and avoidance in the last period of time were to protect the safety of her family. She didn’t dare to confide in her family and friends anymore, and she didn’t dare to just leave. “It’s easy for her to leave alone, but he (Shi Jiahao) knows where our family is, and she can’t do anything.”

The family set up a spirit tablet for Dong Wenhui at home. (Photo_Douyin@Dong Wenhui’s father)

The ignored economic control, 70% of the income is provided to the perpetrator

After Dong Wenhui’s death, the family found a diary, a tablet computer, a broken gold necklace, and a passbook in her room.

The broken gold necklace (Photo_Author/Photo)

Dong Wenhui was the only college student in the family, and the family all thought she was capable and had her own opinions. In 2016, after graduating from medical school, Dong Wenhui stayed at a top-tier hospital as a nurse. “In 2018, she bought a small house next to her unit, and only told us after paying a 20,000 yuan deposit.” Her mother was afraid that she would put too much pressure on herself, and did not support her saving money to buy a house, but Dong Wenhui soon had a new goal, and she also wanted to change to a bigger house, so she had been saving money.

Ma Yanhua pinched the sweatpants she was wearing on her legs and said, “This is the express delivery she didn’t have time to pick up, and these pants are only a few dollars, she is such a frugal person,” wiping away her tears.

But what made the family feel wrong was that Dong Wenhui’s money was kept in a passbook that was not convenient for withdrawals, and in a bank card of a credit cooperative that the family had never heard of, instead of another commonly used bank card that was linked to her phone. Later, they found out by reading Dong Wenhui’s tablet computer that in March 2023, she posted on Xiaohongshu to commemorate “the first passbook in her life”, and in the post, she also replied to netizens’ questions about why she used a passbook. She replied: “You must not let others know (how much money you have), if they know, they will be thinking about it.”

Dong Wenhui showed off her passbook on a social platform and replied to netizens, “You must not let others know.” (Photo_Author/Photo)

Dong Junqiang suspected that his daughter hid the money just to guard against Shi Jiahao. “He saw that my daughter had good conditions and had evil thoughts. She could earn more than 10,000 yuan a month, and her provident fund was 2,400 yuan, and she didn’t even use up the 1,100 yuan monthly mortgage, and she lived frugally. Shi Jiahao, who was driving a truck, had no work during the epidemic, where did he get the money to live?”

On May 6, 2024, when the two had a dispute at Dong Wenhui’s home, Shi Jiahao claimed that he had paid too much and could not separate. Dong Junqiang asked him if his daughter had spent his money, and if so, he would give it back to him, “He said he hadn’t spent any.”

According to bank statements and transfer records, they estimated the difference between Dong Wenhui’s income and savings, and found that during their cohabitation, Dong Wenhui used about 70% of her income to pay for Shi Jiahao’s expenses. Lawyer Ouyang Yipeng, the agent, proposed in the “Attorney’s Opinion Letter” submitted to the procuratorate, This fact is in line with the situation of “using economic control to implement abuse” in the “Opinions on Handling Domestic Violence Criminal Cases in Accordance with the Law”.

Dong Wenhui’s family estimated the difference between her income and savings. (Photo_Douyin@Dong Wenhui’s father)

Dong Junqiang held his daughter’s broken gold necklace and shed tears. This was a birthday gift that Dong Wenhui had bought for herself after hesitating for a long time because she thought it was expensive.

The person who was overlooked by the anti-domestic violence safety net, the victim needs more help to save herself

After the incident, Shi Jiahao was transferred for review and prosecution on the charge of intentional homicide.

The agent lawyer said that according to Dong Wenhui’s police records, diary, bank statements, and other evidence, Shi Jiahao had inflicted long-term systematic domestic violence on Dong Wenhui during their cohabitation, including physical violence, mental violence, and economic oppression, so he proposed to the procuratorate to supplement the investigation of the “abuse” crime.

Although there was no marital relationship between Shi Jiahao and Dong Wenhui, long-term cohabiting partners belong to the category of “family members” in the “Opinions on Handling Domestic Violence Criminal Cases in Accordance with the Law”. He believes that killing a family member is an aggravated circumstance. The final result of the explosion of depriving the victim of life is the result of the escalation of long-term systematic domestic violence.

In the “Guidelines for the Trial of Marriage Cases Involving Domestic Violence” compiled by the Institute of Applied Jurisprudence of the Supreme People’s Court of China, it is clearly stipulated that physical violence, mental violence, sexual violence, and economic control all belong to the types of domestic violence. Shi Jiahao’s threats with a knife to Dong Wenhui, verbal intimidation to harm Dong Wenhui and her family, and other behaviors, are in line with the situation of “intentionally scaring or intimidating the victim” in mental violence; “exploiting and harming the victim’s property or income” is a manifestation of economic control.

Perhaps the only attempts to seek help from the public power system failed to improve Dong Wenhui’s situation. She began to look for other ways to resist and digest the harm that violence had done to her. She had left self-encouraging words in her diary: “…I must save myself, and no longer live this kind of life that is worse than pigs and dogs, being beaten.” She told herself to live well, and wrote in her diary: “After work every day, make a dinner, enjoy the food, wash the dishes, mop the floor, and wash up. These can all immerse me in it, empty myself, live in the present, and be cool!”

There is a copy of “Nonviolent Communication” on the bookshelf of Dong Wenhui’s home, with many traces of her drawing and reading. There are more than ten pages of reading notes written at the back of the diary, “(To use) thinking to resist, eliminate this emotional pain. Blank thinking, love, joy, and brief peace.”

The book “Nonviolent Communication” on Dong Wenhui’s bookshelf (Photo_Author/Photo)

When domestic violence occurs, without systemic support and intervention from public power, the victim’s efforts to rely on self-reflection, seek inner peace, and seek reconciliation with the perpetrator are doomed to be in vain. No one knows what considerations Dong Wenhui had, and she decided to get into the car of her boyfriend, who had long been abusing her. But in her self-expression, she has always insisted on protecting herself and staying away from people who bring harm to herself and her family, until her life was taken away.

At the end of the diary, she wrote: “Please be sure to, again and again, again and again, and again and again, without hesitation, save yourself from the fire and water of the world… You are only yourself, you are not anyone, you are the most important! Stay clear-headed, independent, and forever!”