Basic Common Sense | Let me tell you a joke

First of all, a disclaimer:

1. This joke will have some semantic ambiguity, which may lead to some associations, but I have absolutely no sexual innuendo or suggestive content. If anyone has any messy associations after listening, it absolutely does not represent my original intention. Please reflect on your own thought process. Also, I just took a shower and used body wash twice. I will not accept accusations of being greasy. Please do not overinterpret.

2. My jokes will inevitably mention some humans. As we all know, humans have genders and ages, so it is necessary to clarify in advance that I have absolutely no discrimination against women, nor against men, and of course, no discrimination against sexual minorities. I also do not discriminate against the elderly, middle-aged, young people, and children, regardless of their characteristics. Please automatically ignore the gender and age of the characters mentioned in the jokes. Please do not overinterpret.

3. I know that regional stereotypes always attract traffic, but as a responsible blogger, as a foodie who loves every inch of the great rivers, mountains, and delicious food of the motherland, I will never tell jokes that discriminate against regions. When I mention a person’s place of origin in the joke, it is only to avoid confusion due to the same name, and it has no other meaning. Please do not overinterpret.

4. My beloved family and friends work in many different legal industries, and I absolutely respect them and their professions, regardless of whether they are employed in the system, regardless of their income, including those who are unemployed, I also respect them. The people I mention in the jokes may have different professional attributes. I say it purely to make up the word count and drag out the time. I have no stereotypes. Please do not overinterpret.

5. I especially respect the People’s Liberation Army, firefighters, and the People’s Public Security, including anti-drug police, SWAT, criminal police, traffic police, anti-pornography police, cyber police, railway police, and other public security personnel that I don’t know and haven’t listed yet, as well as every hero who has passed away or is still alive. I will never tell jokes about them, never make fun of their heroic image, will not say it directly, and will not say it implicitly. Please do not overinterpret.

6. The jokes I am going to tell next will not encourage anyone to imitate dangerous behaviors. When I say that a person is running, I have repeatedly checked his medical report to ensure that his physical condition is suitable for running, and he is running in a safe sports track, the running speed does not exceed 5 kilometers per hour, the running time does not exceed 10 minutes, and will not cause dangerous imitation by children. Please do not overinterpret.

7. The jokes I am going to tell next do not involve any political content, including international politics and domestic politics, nor do they involve any evaluation of any domestic public policies. I support all the policies of the Party and the country, and sincerely believe that they are all good policies, but I am not knowledgeable enough and am not capable of evaluating the details of the policies. If anyone feels that I am evaluating a certain policy from the jokes I tell, it must be an illusion. I am not, I don’t have it, please do not overinterpret.

8. I also respect the traditional culture of the motherland very much, especially like the traditional Chinese cooking techniques and food culture, and I also like other traditional cultures that I don’t know much about, including traditional Chinese medicine, which has given many plants and animals very beautiful names. I hope that every museum in the world will have an introduction to the brilliant culture of Chinese medicine. Therefore, if anyone feels that I am criticizing Chinese traditional culture from my jokes, it must be an illusion. Please do not overinterpret.

9. I know that everyone expects a joke to be pure, noble, and without a trace of money, so the jokes I am going to tell will not have any advertising or product placement information. If anyone buys any goods or services after listening to my jokes, it is definitely not my guidance, it is purely a coincidence, please do not overinterpret.

10. I respect and abide by every law and regulation of the People’s Republic of China, respect and abide by the generally recognized moral norms of Chinese society, and also call on my readers to abide by every law and regulation and moral norm. There may be situations in my jokes where some people violate laws or violate morals. Please listen patiently, they will definitely be punished accordingly later, and I will definitely take a firm critical attitude towards these behaviors. If anyone feels encouraged to violate laws or immoral behavior from the jokes I tell, it must be an illusion. Please do not overinterpret.

Okay, due to time constraints, my performance ends here. There are 90 more statements, and everyone is welcome to buy tickets for the subsequent performances to watch my performance. After 9 performances, the exciting joke-telling time will come.