I confirmed my relationship with Xu Zhiyong in 2019, and shortly after, we were forced to separate. It has been more than six years since then, and we have never had a chance to meet. However, our feelings have withstood the test of time, distance, and various difficulties, and have always been deep and firm. Marriage is our common wish and a promise to each other.
For nearly a year, our right to marry has not been specifically implemented and guaranteed:
Last June, an application was submitted to Lunan Prison
In mid-June 2025, Xu Zhiyong submitted a marriage application and a meeting application for marriage registration procedures within the prison. On June 27, he wrote in a letter to me: “Maybe this process will be tortuous and long, but it doesn’t matter. I have submitted the marriage application and asked the prison for help. Today, I also wrote a meeting application, the special meeting you mentioned to prepare for the marriage materials, and submitted it with this letter.”
On August 12, 2025, I, as the party applying for marriage, also mailed a marriage application and a voluntary marriage statement to Lunan Prison, along with proof of our relationship. I requested the prison to provide necessary assistance in accordance with the procedures for marriage registration of prisoners. The prison received it on August 14. Before submitting the marriage application, I also consulted the Rizhao Civil Affairs Bureau about the procedures for prisoners to register for marriage. The Civil Affairs Bureau said that before the national unified handling of marriage registration, the prison would generally coordinate with them to handle it in the prison; but after the national unified handling, the prison would need to coordinate to bring the prisoners to the registration office for on-site handling. And I found that the Lunan Prison official website’s “Regulations on External Affairs Management” also clearly mentions the category of “Civil Affairs Department coming to the prison to handle marriage registration or divorce by agreement” of prisoners, indicating that the prison has always had relevant procedures for handling.
On September 1, 2025, I applied to the prison for information disclosure, and the first item asked about the relevant system regulations for prisoners’ marriage applications. The prison issued a notice on November 3, listing the provisions of the “Constitution of the People’s Republic of China”, “Civil Code of the People’s Republic of China”, “Prison Law of the People’s Republic of China”, “Regulations on Marriage Registration” (implemented on May 10, 2025) and the Ministry of Civil Affairs’ “Opinions on Several Issues Concerning the Implementation of the ‘Regulations on Marriage Registration'” as relevant basis. I understand that this reply indicates that prisoners’ application for marriage registration has clear legal basis and feasible ways.
At the same time, I sent a reminder letter to the prison on September 1 for the marriage application procedure, but the prison did not reply after receiving it on September 3.
And then there was nothing. For more than nine months, no one from the prison told me which step the application had reached, what materials needed to be supplemented, or if it was rejected. It was complete silence. And I had to spend the next six months dealing with the legal procedures for communication rights.
At the end of March this year, I went to the prison to communicate on site, and was told that the application had been submitted to the Prison Administration Bureau last June
On March 31, 2026, I went to Lunan Prison with the marriage application and the meeting application for marriage registration procedures. I waited outside the meeting room for more than three hours before finally seeing the head of the Prison Administration Section.
Chief Chen told me that Xu Zhiyong’s marriage application was submitted last year and immediately reported to the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau, but the prison has not received a reply from the Bureau so far, so the prison cannot handle it. Chief Chen also said: The prison really can’t make the decision, but also hopes that if it can be done, it will be good for Xu Zhiyong’s mental state.
I brought the marriage application, the voluntary marriage statement, and the meeting application to submit on the spot that day. Chief Chen refused to accept it without checking the contents of the materials, saying that I was a non-prisoner and the prison had no authority to review it. No written explanation was issued. Afterwards, on April 12, 2026, I resubmitted all the application materials to Lunan Prison by mail, and the prison received them on April 14.
At the end of April, I received a letter from Xu Zhiyong written on April 4, saying that he had submitted another marriage application to the prison and also hoped that I could persevere in completing the procedures. I felt very sad. In the high walls, besides repeating his requests to the prison over and over again, and feeling sorry for my hard work and difficulties in the letters, and saying love and apologies to me, there was nothing more he could do. And I, even outside the high walls, how much have I done?
I wrote to the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau to inquire about the progress, and it seemed to be taken seriously
Since the prison leaders have clearly stated that the application was reported to the Bureau last June, I sent an inquiry letter to the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau on April 17, hoping to understand the processing progress of the application, and copied a copy to the director. As a result, the copy sent to the office and copied to Director Wang Fajun was returned with the reason “addressee refused to accept” after the office received it on April 18, and the date stamp on the return slip was blank. The office’s responsibilities originally included daily operations such as documents and letters, and it returned the letters from citizens after receiving them without any written explanation.
I had to resend it, this time directly to Director Wang Fajun himself, and the receiving and dispatch room received it on April 27. And the copy for the Prison Administration Department, after being received on April 18, had been silent. On the afternoon of April 27, EMS showed that it was notified to be returned. As a result, I contacted EMS the next day and learned that the Prison Administration Bureau had urgently retrieved the documents that were supposed to be returned to me from the courier early in the morning, saying that the leaders instructed that they were still needed.
That is to say, the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau did receive my documents and opened them to read, and it seemed to be taken seriously, but it has exceeded the reasonable reply period, and there is no written reply.
I went to the Prison Administration Bureau to communicate on site, and was told that the marriage application was not within their business scope
On May 15, 2026, I went to the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau to communicate on site with lawyer Zhang Lei.
At 9:40 a.m., I arrived at the reception room, and a male staff member wearing a black short-sleeved shirt (later heard other visitors call him “Officer Zhang”) asked about my intentions, called the relevant departments, and took away the inquiry letter I brought to the scene to resubmit, as well as the copies of the marriage application and meeting application materials I had mailed to Lunan Prison again in early April, and copied our ID cards.
Around 10 o’clock, two staff members from the Prison Administration Department came to the reception room, a female staff member surnamed Gao and a male staff member surnamed Shao. Neither of them wore police uniforms, wore work badges, nor informed their full names and positions. Staff member Shao sat next to me and, when asked about my identity, I introduced myself as Xu Zhiyong’s fiancée and the party applying for marriage. He whispered, “Oh, you claim.” My relationship with Xu Zhiyong has been recognized by the effective judgment of the Linyi Intermediate People’s Court, not “self-proclaimed”, but a fact confirmed by the judiciary. I know he is deliberately belittling my status as a party.
“Relevant departments in Beijing”
I told them in detail about the process of submitting the marriage application but still not making any progress. Staff member Gao said that they had received the inquiry letter I mailed to the Prison Administration Bureau, and they also knew about our marriage application submitted last year. Then he asked me back: “We handled it last year, didn’t the relevant departments in Beijing give you feedback?” I said no. Staff member Shao next to him said: “Then this is ambiguous, I’ll record it. We have notified you through the relevant departments in Beijing, but you said no.” Staff member Gao raised his voice and said: “Yes, we need to ask them about this.”
I was very surprised. According to the opinions of the Ministry of Civil Affairs, the Regulations on Marriage Registration, the Prison Law, and other regulations, the approval chain for the marriage application of prisoners we are currently carrying out is still all within Shandong Province and does not involve the departments in Beijing. Even if we choose to register with the civil affairs department in Beijing in the future, the civil affairs bureau’s responsibility is only to perform the registration procedures and not to participate in the approval of the application. I also have not applied to or consulted any department in Beijing. The specific department of “relevant departments in Beijing”, how to “feedback” to me directly according to the law or administrative level, the two staff members did not explain.
“It’s not our responsibility”
Next, the two staff members consistently stated that the marriage application was not within the business scope of the Prison Administration Bureau. Staff member Gao said that the opinions of the Ministry of Civil Affairs only stipulated that the prison should assist in issuing proof of identity, and did not stipulate that the prison has the obligation to handle the marriage application, and asked me to go to the civil affairs department. I was also very confused. If it is not their responsibility, why did the prison report it to them? And why did they say they would reply to me through the relevant departments in Beijing? I also explained the statement of the Rizhao Civil Affairs Bureau that I consulted last year. The key issue now is that Xu Zhiyong is serving his sentence in prison and is a person deprived of his personal freedom, so it is impossible for him to go to the registration authority himself. How to achieve “personally present” will inevitably require the assistance and arrangement of the prison. If the prison’s only obligation is to issue an identity certificate and then do nothing (and the identity certificate has not been provided to me for a year), then the prisoners’ right to marry is in fact suspended.
Next, I also mentioned that if the judgment did not explicitly deprive him, then both of us have the right to marry, right? Staff member Gao immediately interrupted me: “Don’t change the subject, let’s just say now, which law stipulates that the marriage application is within our processing scope?”
The lawyer repeatedly explained that the Prison Administration Bureau, as the superior competent authority, has the obligation to assist, and not acting is depriving prisoners of their right to marry. Staff member Gao was very angry and questioned: “When did I say that I deprived his rights? When did I not act? You have to be responsible for your words.”
No matter how patiently the lawyer explained, the replies of the two staff members would always go back to “It’s not our responsibility”.
I think the lawyer explained it very clearly: Even if the specific assistance work is carried out by Lunan Prison, the Prison Administration Bureau, after receiving the application reported by the prison, should make a decision or continue to report it, instead of neither approving nor rejecting it, neither replying to the prison nor replying to me, and then saying in person that it is not their business. They narrowed down the prison’s responsibilities to “just issuing an identity certificate”, and at the same time pushed the responsibility for approving the marriage application to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and the Civil Affairs Bureau required the prisoner to be present, but the prisoner could not get out. The result of shirking each other’s responsibilities is that no department is willing to take responsibility, and the prisoners’ right to marry is in fact deprived. This is not a loophole in the law, but an attempt to use the boundaries of responsibilities between departments to evade their own assistance obligations. According to the relevant reports on prisoners’ marriage registration that I inquired about last year, the practice cases of the Shandong Provincial Prison system itself over the years have repeatedly proved that this assistance obligation exists, is operable, has been implemented, and is also used as a performance promotion.
The same prisoners’ marriage applications in Shandong Province, why is it so difficult for us when others are actively involved?
I showed them the public reports of the Shandong Provincial Prison system assisting prisoners in handling marriage registration in recent years, and read them one by one:
“Qizhou Prison, in 2023, the prisoner and his fiancée, through submitting love records, testimonies of relatives and friends, and other materials, the prison coordinated with the Civil Affairs Bureau to complete the registration through remote video, and was included in the typical case of humanized law enforcement in the Shandong Provincial Prison system.”
“Lubei Prison, in 2018, held a collective wedding for prisoners, and the prison coordinated with the Civil Affairs Department to handle the registration in the prison. Among them, there was a prisoner with a 16-year prison sentence. The prison considered the deep feelings of both parties and launched a family care project. The Legal Daily made an in-depth report.”
“Shandong Provincial Women’s Prison, in 2014, the prison established a special team to coordinate with the Civil Affairs Department across provinces to handle the registration in the prison.”
“Tai’an Prison, in 2010, the prison guards accompanied the prisoners to handle the procedures at the marriage registration office.”
These are all prisons under the jurisdiction of the Shandong Provincial Prison Administration Bureau, and they are all promoted and reported as the performance of the family care policy. Staff member Shao took out his mobile phone on the spot: “Where is the source of this case? I’ll search too.” I also sincerely showed him that the case in 2023 was published on the official WeChat public account of Qizhou Prison, “A Special ‘Wedding Photo'” on December 5, 2023. Staff member Shao made a record but did not search in his mobile phone. After a while, he started to ask me again: “When did you consult the Civil Affairs Bureau last year? Did they say what the specific process was after the national unified handling? How to assist? Was it successful?”
Source: Rizhao News Network “Let the rule of law shine on the road of reform – Shandong Lunan Prison breaks the ‘big wall thinking’ to promote the modernization of prison governance”
Source: Shandong Lunan Prison official WeChat public account March 5, 2018 “Because of love, everything becomes better – a letter to a father who is away from prison to visit his relatives”
Finally, staff member Shao said: “Then you should first communicate with Lunan Prison, and you can also apply directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau.” Because we mentioned many times that the result of communicating with the prison was: the prison reported to the Bureau last year, and there was no way to do anything without the Bureau’s reply. He looked at the time on his mobile phone and said: “It’s noon now, it’s not realistic to have the prison come over, I’ll record it first.”
The prison said it reported to the Bureau and was waiting for a reply, the Bureau said it was not my responsibility and asked me to go to the prison and the Civil Affairs Bureau, and the Civil Affairs Bureau said that the prisoner needed to be present, but the person could not get out. Each department has a “reasonable” reason to push me to another, and in the end, no department is willing to take the responsibility of promoting it.
“Which law stipulates that the marriage application is within our processing scope?” I was also a little confused at the time. After the fact, I realized that the “Prison Law” stipulates that the rights not deprived shall not be violated, and the freedom of marriage has not been deprived by the judgment. As the superior competent authority of the prison, the Prison Administration Bureau has the responsibility to supervise and manage the prisoners’ exercise of this right in accordance with the law. The law does not need to list item by item “the marriage application is your responsibility, the meeting application is your responsibility, the communication application is your responsibility”, it only needs to establish the principle of rights protection, and the relevant departments have the obligation to implement it within their own responsibilities. The Bureau cannot find a specific law that specifically states “to be handled by the Prison Administration Bureau” for every specific right of the prisoners.
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